VMworld 2018: Building Community Beyond the Conference
VMworld US 2018
Well, VMworld 2018 (Las Vegas) is over. I know it was a whirlwind week for employees, vendors, visitors and spouses. This was the third VMworld visit for me, and my third time attending Spousetivities events. This year though, Spousetivities and being apart of the larger IT community took on a whole new meaning for me. Before I launch into the specifics of my story, let me just refresh your memory on Spousetivities and the activities provided at the VMworld 2018 event.
Spousetivities is the brainchild of the hardworking Crystal Lowe. Spousetivities celebrated ELEVEN years of providing fun, support, and something to do while our spouses are getting their geek on at the main event of VMworld. Crystal works hard all year to secure sponsors and plan activities that are fun, engaging, and at a reduced cost. I could go on for pages about how Crystal LOVES to see people connect and have fun, how she pours her heart and soul into these events, and how wonderful of a person Crystal is, but like every year, I will ask you to experience the wonderfulness on your own. Just sign up for Spousetivities and experience it yourself.
Spousetivities
The week kicked off with the Welcome Breakfast at the always wonderful Cili at the Bali Hai Golf Course. Cili was actually to be closed this year for renovations, but was willing to stay open long enough to welcome Spousetivities with open arms and feed us wonderful food and large amounts of hot coffee! It is such a great time re-connecting with repeat Spousetivities members. Hugs, new introductions, and prizes. It was a great way to kick off the fun! The rest of the activities Crystal planned for us ranged from lazy cabana pool days to ATV adventures and food tours.
Unfortunately (or fortunately as is turns out later), I was unable to stay in Las Vegas for all of VMworld. Nigel and I have a daughter getting married in just over 40 days, an older son moving into his first apartment this week, and I need to travel home to visit my parents. I knew that I needed some downtime and decided lazy days by the pool where much needed this trip. I also had the opportunity to host cabana day for Monday and Tuesday. Hostessing an event is simply checking in registrants, giving them the details of what they can expect for the day, and just be a familiar face in a sea of new faces. Crystal is running multiple events, and relying on volunteers to help is how she can manage to be in multiple places at once (Serious, an activity planning wizard, Crystal is).
Building Community
Again, I have participated multiple times in Spousetivities, but this year really nailed WHY I do Spousetivities and why this group is important to me and the larger IT community. Let me give you two specific examples of why Spousetivities is a huge blessing to me.
Without revealing to many personal details, I met a wonderful woman, overwhelmed with a recent life altering diagnosis in her young grandson. She had so much love for this child and wants to be the best grandmother she can be. As she began to open up, a new world of support opened right before her very eyes and it was magical to watch. This loving grandmother realized that this group of unknown people may be able to help her, and watching her soak in the love and support was an absolute blessing. We all talked on and off all day. Words of advice from mothers and educators, words of encouragement, and just a general sense of belonging wrapped up this grandmother and I really feel like some of the heavy weight was lifted. As the day was winding down, this participant came to me with tears in her eyes, and stated that she had been amazed at the outpouring of love and support. I reminded her that this community reaches far and wide and we were all walking with her on this journey. Personally, I can not wait to see her at a future Spousetivities event and hug her and hear all about her beautiful grandson and his growth!
As for me, well, this year in Vegas wasn’t the greatest. Nigel and I had landed in Vegas on Friday. I felt bad. Something was a brewing in the ‘ol stomach, and it wasn’t good. Sunday, Nigel was teaching workshops and I spent the day rolling around in my hotel bed with some pretty serious stomach pains. By Monday, I was a walking zombie due to lack of sleep. I slapped on my happy face and tucked off to the Spousetivities opening breakfast and pool day. The pain would come and go, and I would just ride the wave, smile and move on. My husband and a close personal friend (I am lucky enough that my college roommate lives in Las Vegas and I love being able to see her while we are in town) kept encouraging me to seek medical attention. I ignored them, of course. I am a crazy, busy mom and I needed this Las Vegas trip, dang it! Word had slowly started to spread that I was not well, and I started receiving texts asking if I needed anything. Nigel was receiving calls and texts with offers of help. Crystal was checking in on me. Long story short, I flew home as planned on Tuesday night, and finally sought out medical help on Thursday. By the end of the Thursday, I had a diagnosis… diverticulitis. I will refrain from telling you the ugly details of my recovery. Its been hell. However, what I want to drive home is the amazing support that rained down from everyone involved in Spousetivities, Nigel’s company, and the larger VMware community. We still have people checking in on us! Strangers took to Twitter to offer help while we were still in Las Vegas. Can you imagine?!?! I am a spouse in a sea of THOUSANDS of conference attendee’s, and I was confident in the fact that if I raised my hand and asked for help…. I would have had that help by the truckload.
THIS is exactly why I do Spousetivities and support Crystal in her endeavors. The fact that we are able to support people in need and be supported when needed is why I ask everyone I meet if they have heard of Spousetivities. You may be thinking, “well, that’s all nice and everything, but what does Spousetivities contribute to the larger IT community?” Let me answer your question with a question… how can you not support this group? In this day and age, work/life balance is almost a joke. IT careers are demanding, not just on the IT employee, but the entire family. Isn’t it important to you to know that for just a few short days a year, you can manage that fine line between working your tail off AND be able to have some fun in a great city with your spouse? While you are working, your spouse is in a safe environment, connecting with others in the same shoes, and having some fun. It was astounding how many of us use VMworld/Spousetivities as mini vacations because there is just no other time in the year for “real” vacations. Think about the productivity of the IT employee. They are able to focus and soak in the extraordinary amount of information while at the conference, knowing that their spouse isn’t wandering around alone and bored.
Final Thoughts
IT burnout is a hot topic these days. IT burnout is real. IT burnout can take down an entire family. IT burnout happens for a lot of reasons, but finding that work/life balance is a major driving factor. As a large IT community, we need to be talking about this, support IT pros going thru it, and start supporting those things that provide work/life balance like Spousetivities does. In the long run, identifying how to combat IT burnout helps companies retain amazingly talented people who will, in turn, have the energy to teach others. Isn’t that what companies want? Reduce turnover, higher employee satisfaction, and holding on to the most talented people they have?
Spousetivities isn’t going to change the IT culture of crushing workloads, and IT burnout, but it sure is a start. We need to be supporting these smaller communities that are actively attempting to better the lives of those around them. We need to be taking care of each other. I want to scream in frustration when I hear that Spousetivities isn’t that big of a deal or make much of an impact on the IT community. This is a community of PEOPLE, not robots. We need to start addressing the needs of the people. Spousetivities is part of the solution. I want to be apart of the solution.
Let me end this exceedingly long blog post with THANK YOU! Thank YOU, Crystal for this amazing group. Thank You to the sponsors who recognize the value of Spousetivities and support the group year after year. Thank you to all the lovely spouses I met this year. Thank You to all of those people that offered me a hand when I really needed it. Thank you for making me feel like a valued community member so that I can continue to support my husband’s career.
-Heather Hickey (@AlwaysMovingMom on Twitter)